My Goddess

So now that National Novel Writing Month is over I can get back into blogging. I’ve been sitting on this article for a couple of weeks because I wasn’t happy with the tone I was conveying. In writing about my beliefs I tend to compare how my beliefs have changed from growing up in a Catholic environment. The problem with this is that what I believe now tends to be in opposition to the beliefs I was raised with and it comes off in a negative, “the beliefs I was raised with are stupid” kind of way. With that in mind I’ve completely rewritten this particular blog so that it is more “This is what I believe in” rather than “This is why I’m not a Christian.”

I decided to split my personal beliefs into a few different posts. So let’s start with Deity.

One of my most basics beliefs as a Pagan is divine immanence: the belief that God is manifested in the material world. The divine is here on earth and is embodied in all of nature. I was raised with the belief in a transcendent God: God occupies Heaven and is mostly detached from the earth, with an exception of the Holy Spirit, which is believed to live in the hearts of Baptized and Confirmed Christians. I believe that the Divine exists within us all and since proof of the Divine is inherent in the wonders of Nature, Nature and the Divine must be one.

Growing up in a monotheistic religion has indeed shaped my view of Deity. It is hard for me to be Polytheistic. I still believe in one Divine energy, but I feel I am monotheistic in a different way than Christians. Whereas Christians see a split between the transcendent God, the immanent Holy Spirit and the human Christ, I see the Divine as one complete deity. The divine is everything and everything is divine. I also do not believe that the Divine takes a human form. The Bible states that God created man in his image, but I am of the belief that man created God in his image. The divine for me, is so vast and incomprehensible that to imagine the divine would be like trying to imagine the fourth dimension. To make things more comprehensible in my head I tend to personify the divine as a Goddess, because I find that form comforting, but I believe that the Divine is much grander than any shape I could imagine for it.

My Goddess is the Mother Earth. She is my home and my mother. It seems that some of the other major religions have this separation between God, earth, and humans. God made the earth specifically for humans, with humans coming off as arrogant, “we are God’s chosen creation.” In this view the earth seems more a thing than an entity in its own right. I believe the earth is powerful, mysterious, and unpredictable, and should be treated with the same respect as any god in the heavens. Our intelligence does not make humans more important than nature. It makes us more responsible. We are part of the universal divine energy and should treat the world and each other as such. 

What's a Pagan?

I've been thinking about how to run this blog for a while, and originally, I was going to talk about the different types of Pagans to get readers up to speed. But then I realized that this blog is about my journey, and I'm eclectic Pagan, so why should I spend my time filling posts with information about Wicca and Asatru, and Druidism, etc? I will most likely write blog posts in the future about what I have learned about some of those denominations, but I feel for the present it is best to just catch up to where I am, so that the journey can begin.

So what is an eclectic Pagan?

First of all the word eclectic means to derive ideas or taste from a broad range of sources. So that means that as a Pagan I take many of my beliefs from different traditions.

It is said that if you were to ask a room full of 20 Pagans what they believe in, you would get 21 different answers. In Paganism there is no dogma or doctrine that you find in other faiths. There isn't even a sacred text. And for those of you who would counter that statement with "The Book of Shadows," the Book of Shadows is a personal diary or journal that a pagan or witch fills with his/her personal beliefs and practices. Which means that every Book of Shadows will be different.

So now we know what eclectic means, but what's a Pagan?

This question can be hard to answer because each individual Pagan believes different things, but there are a few core things that each Pagan has in common. To start...

Paganism is about personal responsibility to your faith

Since there is no doctrine or dogma, or holy text, being a Pagan is about taking personal responsibility to walk the path you've chosen. If you're a Catholic, for example, it can be easy to go through the motions, go to church, listen to the homily and go home. There really isn't anything like that in Paganism. You don't have to belong to a community if you don't want to. If you do, it can take some searching to find one, especially if you're like me and weren't brought up as a Pagan. Depending on your denomination there may be no priests, so its up to you to officiate your rituals. And its up to you to form your own morals and code of ethics. Someone once said, "Some religions are a restaurant. You sit down and they bring you what they're serving for dinner. Paganism is a buffet. If you want to eat you have to get up off your butt and serve yourself."

Again, I am in no way trying to evangelize. Paganism isn't for everyone. There are many people who are happy being told what to believe and knowing they are headed down the right path because of what is written in a book. That might have sounded belittling but I don't mean it that way. Paganism is hard. It takes a lot of effort to look into something different and try to figure out the truth, especially when your personal truth will differ with many of those around you. Its nice to believe what everyone else believes. And I can understand why many people prefer that path. On the other hand I find it liberating to have the opportunity to create my own spiritual path. I started this blog to write down my feelings and misgivings on moving away from being told what to believe in and hope that I can help those who are working their way to a more personal spiritual path.

Paganism is earth-centered and everything is connected

Paganism is an earth centered religion, which means that many of its deities, rituals, and celebrations are based around the earth and the universe. The main holidays, or Sabbats, are centered around the cycle of the sun and can include the solstices and equinoxes, as well as the cross-quarter days (Imbolc - Feb. 2, Beltane - May 1, Lammas Aug. 1, Samhain - Oct. 31/Nov. 1). The cycles of the moon are also celebrated and moon rituals are called Esbats.

Because it is so earth centered, many Pagans believe that everything in the universe, including the divine, is connected. Many Pagans also take a more imminent view of the divine rather than the Abrahamic view of a transcendent God. That means that while Christians, for example, believe that God is in Heaven looking down on the earth, Pagans believe that God is a part of the earth itself. This could mean that God is a universal force present in all living things, or that there are many different deities that represent the different aspects of life on earth. There are many different paths to the truth, and Paganism let's you explore a wide range of possibilities.

Pagans believe that all things are inherently blessed


The Abrahamic faiths are based on the story of Adam and Eve, where the serpent tricked Eve into eating the fruit from the tree of good and evil and then sharing it with Adam and God finding out and kicking them out of the garden of Eden. This story lead to the idea of original sin, where humans are sinners from birth and must be saved.

Pagans belive in quite the opposite. Pagans believe that every person is blessed. This doesn't mean that humans can't make mistakes or do evil things. Humans have freedom of choice and can choose to make bad decisions, but that doesn't mean that they are doomed from the start. A quote from Joyce and River Higgenbotham in their book Paganism: An Introduction to Earth-Centered Religions states that "The belief that every part of the universe is blessed in its nature, and that there is nothing wrong with the universe or with you, means that the purpose of Pagan spiritual practice differs from that of religions focused on issues of purification and salvation." So blessid be! (And for those of you interested in Paganism, that book is a great primer for beginners.)

Pagans practice tolerance


Because Pagans believe so many different things, being tolerant of the fact that other Pagans might not believe the exact same thing as you, is key. But Pagans don't just tolerate the beliefs of other Pagans. They tolerate other religions as well. Paganism has a long history of being criticized, demonized, and disrespected as a religion. By showing tolerance for others you open the door for others to be tolerant of you.

In the next post I hope to get into some of my personal beliefs.

Until next time, blessid be!

Bad Words

Growing up Christian, the terms Pagan and Heathen have a slightly different meaning than they do to someone who is a Pagan or a Heathen. No one actually told me what they meant, but I gleaned over the years that they described someone that wasn't Christian. And therefore, by comparison, not as good. Christians sometimes have this "if you're not with us, you're against us" mentality. But that's just part of the Christian faith. Christians believe that they are following the one true path to God, and that if you don't follow that same path then you must be unenlightened (or hell bound).

I'm not trying to say anything against Christianity. Many religions believe they are the one true path to God, whichever god that might be. It just irks me a little that Christianity, whether consciously or not, vilified certain terms, that in antiquity, meant something else entirely.

If you were to look at the word's Latin roots you would find that Pagan and Heathen mean nothing more than "country dweller." Here's what Dictionary.com says about the origins of the word pagan:

Origin: 
1325–75; Middle English  < Medieval Latin, Late Latin pāgānus worshiper of false gods, orig. civilian (i.e., not a soldier of Christ), Latin:  peasant, noun use of pāgānus  rural, civilian, derivative of pāgus  village, rural district (akin to pangere  to fix, make fast);

So those are the origins. Let's take a look at what Dictionary.com defines the word pagan as:

pa·gan

   [pey-guhn]  Show IPA

noun

1.

one of a people or community observing a polytheistic religion, as the ancient Romans and Greeks.

2.

a person who is not a Christian, Jew, or Muslim.

3.

an irreligious or hedonistic person.

We'll tackle the polytheism in a second. Colloquially the term has come to mean "not Christian," or to expand that further "not part of the Abrahamic traditions" (Christianity, Judaism, Islam). By this definition we can include most eastern traditions: Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism, Shintoism, indigenous religions of Austrailia, Africa, and the Americas. That's a lot of pagans. Most pagans, however, do not use the term that broadly. The term Pagan as a modern day term tends to signify religions based around earth worship or those based on the indigenous religions of western Europe.

It's this last definition that makes me a little mad. The term Pagan, whether used broadly or as a term for Neo-Pagans, encompasses many people of many different faiths who are deeply religious and selfless. (For those unaware, the term hedonist refers to a person whose life is devoted to self gratification.)

When I was growing up the term heathen and the word heretic were interchangeable, but I've learned that they are slightly different. A heathen as we've learned is a person outside of the Abrahamic tradition. A Heathen can also be a term to describe a person who follows the religion of the ancient-germanic peoples, most notably the Norse religion. A heretic on the other hand, is a person within the faith who goes against the church's teachings.

I also thought that the terms pagan and polytheist were interchangeable. Which they kind of are, but not exactly. The Abrahamic traditions are the three major religions that are based in monotheism. That's not to say that they're the only monotheistic faiths, they just happen to be the most notable. So, by that logic you could say that all other religions (aka Pagan religions) must be polytheistic. And for the most part they are, but that doesn't mean they have to be. You could be a monotheistic pagan if you wanted to. Heck, you could be an atheist and still be Pagan.

Confused yet?

Today you've learned what the words mean. Stay tuned, because I hope to shed some light onto what the names Pagan and Heathen mean in terms of religion and spirituality.

As always, Blessid Be!

A Pagan Journey

I decided to create this blog as a journal of sorts to contain my thoughts as I continue on my Pagan journey.

A little about me:

I started down the Pagan path in the beginning of 2011. Before then, I guess you could say I was Christian, but really, I just went through the motions. I was raised Catholic and attended church almost every Sunday for about 15 years. I don't know about you, but to me, church was an excruciating experience growing up. I had to get up very early on a Sunday to spend an hour doing the same thing I did every other Sunday morning. When I was younger, I didn't understand the significance of the rituals in the Catholic Church, and on some days it felt like the rest of the congregation didn't understand them either. My favorite part of Mass was the Eulogy, when the Priest got up and talked about the Gospels. It was the only part of the Mass that was different from week to week, and therefore more interesting. Around middle school I became an alter server and then in high school I joined the church choir. I was almost through my confirmation training when I realized that I hadn't become more involved with the church because of my belief, I had become more involved because I needed something to do to keep me awake during Mass.

So I decided not to be confirmed. I know my parent's were disappointed and I often felt jealous of all those who had found community within the church, but I could not, in good faith, bind myself to a religious path that I did not believe in. This was during high school when I was attending a Catholic private school. So even though I no longer attended church with my parents I was forced to attend it at school. Though...forced really isn't the correct term. I am not implying that I had anything against the Catholic faith. I was raised as a Catholic, so I still considered myself a part of the institution, I just didn't choose to practice it actively. I guess you can say this was the beginning of my agnostic phase, where I just took a break from religion. Most of my friends, being part of the counter culture, were proclaimed atheists; though by this I believe that they were merely denying the existence of the Christian God than denying the existence of any type of deity.

Catholic high school didn't just mean uniforms and mass on holy days. It also meant religion classes, and I was lucky enough that at my school sophomore year meant World Religions. This was the first time that I was really exposed to other religions. Unfortunately Paganism or Wicca wasn't included in the curriculum. We did, on the other hand, learn about Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Shintoism, Taoism, and Hinduism. Its one thing to not believe in something that your religion preaches. Its another thing when ideas from other faiths start making sense. I took another world religion class in college and then my life became too hectic and my personal religious journey was put on the back burner. It was after I graduated college that I realized I had no idea what I believed in or what belief systems I identified with. And then I found Paganism.

This blog is not meant to be evangelical in anyway. I believe deeply that everyone walks their own spiritual journey. What works for you may not work for me and vice versa. I am writing this to detail my journey along the Pagan path and to allow those who wish to, to walk with me. For those of you who have just started their pagan journey or are currently wandering their own spiritual path I hope that we can share in moments of confusion, excitement, fear, joy, disillusionment, and magic. And if you are just looking to learn more about Paganism, I'm here to share my experiences with you, along with the knowledge that I pick up along the way.

So welcome. Won't you walk a while with me?

In perfect love and perfect trust, forever, blessid be.